insecurity and self-esteem

Hey guys! I just wanted to rant real quick. All throughout middle school, I’ve been bullied. That started my self esteem and insecurity issue. Now it’s myself that continues that issue. I know my friends love me, but what if they don’t? I have social anxiety around my friends. I constantly worry about “what if’s” and if people actually like me. I don’t really like my body, and I fear that my friends don’t want to be around me or talk to me, so I push them away first. Any tips?