My best friend said that me wanting to harm myself was dumb, that me feeling like this was dumb. And she told other people about it. I trusted her with that and she told other people. I've stopped talking about my life with her. And it's all just bottled up inside and I can never talk to anyone about it because they have bigger issues and I don't want to bother them. I just wish I could end it. I can't though, I have to be there for my sister. I've stopped telling my best friend about everything because it wastes her time. My ex cheated on me. I took him back because I couldn't let him leave. And he did it again. He broke me. And that hurt so bad. I was finally happy, I felt loved by someone, and he "accidentally" fell for someone else. He knew how I felt. And he still left me alone. He begged for nudes and I still fucking stayed. I didn't want to be alone again. He cheated because I wouldn't send them. Twice. He promised not to hurt me. And he did exactly that. He told me I was ugly, nobody would ever want me. He was right. I don't have a thin waist, I'm not skinny, I don't have a pretty face, I don't have a perfect body. But I try so hard. I limit what I eat, I workout, I try so fucking hard and it's never enough for anybody. I've never met a single boy who cares about grades, or personality. I try so so hard to put a smile on everybody's face and make them happy with themselves, constantly asking if everyone is okay and if they're happy but not once in the past month have I been asked once if I was okay. And it hurts. Not once was I asked. I just want it all to go away. I want the pain to be gone. I want to be happy. I'm sorry for disappointing everybody.