i have genuinely told nobody this and i don’t think i ever will. i am a sixteen-year-old girl with a girl best friend of the same age. back in March i came out to my friend group as bisexual, and she came out back. i had sort of thought i had interest in her beforehand, but her coming out in return made me realize i actually did. it wasn’t that big, it still kind of isn’t, but that’s becuase i’ve repressed the emotions a lot. i honestly don’t know at this point if i just platonically like her a lot of if it’s something more, but i do know that she is probably the person i care about the most in this world. she is so kind to everybody and so understanding. every time she talks bad about herself it makes me so upset and sometimes i wish she could see herself the way i see her. i don’t think she likes me back, though. she always talks about how lonely she is and how much she wants to date somebody, but i know that doesn’t include me. she just kind of sends me mixed signals sometimes because we honestly flirt a lot, but we’re both just naturally affectionate people so i think i’m misinterpreting things. she’s also not out to anybody else except one person, so i don’t even know if she’d want to date a girl at the moment. every time that i think she’s mad at me though i get incredibly sad. all i want to do is make her as happy as she makes me, but i don’t think she likes me as much as i like her (romantically or not). it just really sucks. i’m not going to pursue it because i value our friendship a lot more than i would a relationship, but i’m very confused with how i feel right now. if she ever read this and knew it was me i think i would die. genuinely.
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