a friend of mine has recently contacted my major bully from 7th grade. we have a mental support group on instagram and for closure, i had written letters to those who had hurt me that would never be sent. i shared one of my letters with my friend and her being the great friend she is, messaged the girl on insta. i was extremely grateful that she did that, because this girl always ignored my attempts to talk to her and to ask why she was doing what she was doing. bit of backstory, i had sprained my ankle in 7th grade, and she and her friends told everyone i faked it. when i confronted them, they talked about me to everyone and told lies about me. they said almost everything about me. how annoying, mean, rude, i supposedly was. how i was an attention seeking freak with no friends. that i bullied them and that i i was an awful person. this led to numerous people attacking me online, calling me names and making fun of me. people were often telling me to kill myself. they told me i didn’t deserve to be alive, and to be honest i believed them. to this day, i have a lot of trauma from everything that happened. for the last 2 years of middle school, every day was an ache. i dealt with rumors, lies, body shaming. there was nothing left unsaid about me. i had absolutely no one with me during this. i couldn’t get help either because the social workers at my school did not care about the students. along with the bullying, i was having a lot of home life issues. all of this led to me developing anorexia. i also dealt with panic/anxiety attacks every day. i hate to admit that i had a few attempts too. i still struggle but am doing much better. so when my friend messaged her, she confronted her about EVERYTHING she put me through and the outcome. i still deal with bullying from her and this reputation she set for me. she honestly ruined my life. she had the audacity to lie about it and here quote on quote response was “i would never do that. i’m a child of god and love by him.” and that she had the holy spirit to guide her through. she tried to play the victim in talking about her struggles, and even had one of her friends attack my friend. but people came to my side apologizing on her behalf and sticking with me. i understand now that i have people who care about me and will stand by me. it makes me very sad that she wouldn’t admit to anything, or take responsibility. she didn’t have any sympathy or empathy for anything she put me through. she even claimed i was scared to talk to her, when every single time i tried she straight on ignored me. so i unblocked and sent her a message about how i forgive her and that i hope in the future she does better. i blocked her after again. i’m angry and sad that i’ll never have closure. i cant stop thinking about this and how she’ll always follow me because of how many people she got against me even though it’s been 2 years. i hope one day i’ll be able to forget.
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