i hate my body and can barely look in a mirror without crying. it’s a vicious cycle of not eating all day to be skinny then giving in and bingeing in the evening. sometimes i have to eat but force myself to vomit afterwards. i’ve just got a bad relationship with calories and freeze whenever someone mentions them. i’m terrified of going over a my weight (132lbs) but nothing is working. i’m always being called greedy and fat by my parents and it’s wearing me down. to everyone else i look normal but i feel like a whale. i don’t even think i have an eating disorder as i don’t always binge and purge - sometimes for days at a time i might eat normally but suddenly i’m back to purging.
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