this summer, i was on vacation with my sisters and cousins, and idk how we got on the topic, but my cousin said to me that "i didn't have anything", as in, i didn't really have any meat on my bones. i smiled at the assumption, but then i told her "wait til we get to the beach, you'll see." as in, you'll see how fat i actually am. but i wasn't as bitter clearly, bc just a year prior i couldn't even respond to ppl who made comments about my body. my sister kind of rolled her eyes and said "you don't and whatever it is, it's beautiful regardless."
YES ON PAPER, that sounds like a nice comment, but she said it as if she was annoyed by what i said. i 100% don't blame her bc that's her approach to comforting, like just kind of saying "dw about it, let's just move on" basically. the only reason it bothered me is bc it took so much just for me to be able think about my body, let alone talk about it without breaking down. then to just be dismissed made me feel like what i was saying or feeling was annoying/not valid.
it also bothers me that she has literally NOTHING, and i mean nothing, wrong with her body. she has complained about her muscular arms (as well as my older sister) and i just wanna slap them. i would literally cut my stomach up for what they have. i mean i'd cut my stomach up just bc it's ugly. out of the blue one day, she was wearing a crop top and said "idc what anybody says, i love my long torso." I ALMOST FOUGHT HER RKJER UGH. I'VE HAD THIS TROLL ASS STUMP TORSO WITH FAT HANGING OFF OF IT, FOR FUCKING EVER, and here she comes with that BULLLLLLLLLLLLLSHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. LITERALLzY WHO HAS EVER SAID "ew you have a long torso! ew u can wear crop tops and lowrise jeans! ew that's so ugly"????? CRICKETSS CRICKETS, no one on this earth has ever said that, idc i will say that til i die. and her torso isn't even long it's just not short. its AVERAGE. do you know how long I've wished to be average?
i literally gave up wishing to be the standard or pretty like five years ago, girl, my prayers turned into "please make me normal, please make me have no features that stand out so no one can think anything bad abt me". ADN THIS Little girl had the NERVE to basically say in front of me "ykw, idc what anyone says, i love being average!" SPARE MEEE
yea so basically, i was like "um... i don't think anyone has ever said anything bad about long torsos" and laughed. cus tbh that's all i could do.
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