as the title states, i’m afraid i’m developing one and i don’t know what/how to get out of it before i cant.
for as long as i can remember my parents have been making comments on my body. for a long part of it it was due to the fact i was considered underweight but i‘ve now reached a healthy weight and they’ve moved to calling me ‘fat’ joking around that i’m gaining too much weight etc & it’s been getting to me recently. i’ve been self conscious of myself for what feels like forever and my body used to be one of the fee things i liked about myself but i’m growing to hate everything about it. i also unfortunately came across edtwt and it just felt like a rabbit hole i kept falling down and it’s like i can’t keep thinking of the things i saw there and they seem to be influencing my choices.
i also have a habit of placing an incredible amount of hope onto one specific thing and telling myself it’ll all be okay once i get it. like i spent the last three
months convincing myself somehow my depressive episode will go away once i dye my hair and it’ll all be okay and i cried when i did finally dye my hair because it obviously didn’t solve anything and i’m afraid i’m going to do that with my weight.