so my dad has been smoking for a majority of his life and i've been trying to get him to stop as long as i could remember. I've tried everything! bribing him with food, leaving him notes everywhere, and he doesn't even know how many nights i've spent crying myself to sleep about it. He doesn't think I love him, just because i don't say "i love you". I've tried explaining to my dad that i could never say "i love you" while meaning it because idk my mind doesn't work like that. If i ever said I love you to someone, I wouldn't fully mean it. He thinks i say it to the rest of my family and i don't love him but he doesn't know what goes on in my head :/ I've never said i love you to my mom, brothers, no one. If i did say it, it was to this guy i was "thinging" with but i never meant it, I only said it bc he said it first and i felt bad. My mind doesn't work like everyone else's. I don't say I love you, because it makes me uncomfortable. My dad is really doubtful when it comes to me loving him, but what is he doesn't know, is that my way of showing him love is by trying to get him to stop smoking. The numerous ways I've tried to get my dad to stop is unbearable. I'm -this- close to giving up. I can tell my dad loves me too, really. Idk if its because i'm the youngest in my family, or because i'm his only daughter, but he's a lot more overprotective towards be compared to my brothers. He always wants to check my phone more often, he makes me text him a lot whenever i take the bus alone (rarely), etc. I love my family. I seriously do. I just show it in ways you don't think i do. My only problem is not saying i love you, sorry but i don't think i ever will say ily to my family "seriously". This was a rally long story and i kinda moved off topics but here's what i have to say :)
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I understand you. My dad has an alcohol addiction and I've tried so hard to get him to stop and I understand the not being able to say I love you to a dad like that. I also can understand the mind not working like everyone else, sometimes I feel like I'm on a whole different planet. It's completly okay to show love in a different way then words, sometimes i love you can be said so often it looses it meaning