My dad he’s been mentally and physically abusive for years to my mom, brother,sister, and me. I was a “surprise” baby my mom had scheduled a tube tie 2 weeks after she found out she was pregnant with me. I would of never happened if she just waited two weeks. It’s hard not to think about my family’s life if I wasn’t in it, how much better it might have been. My mom would ask me if I wanted her to leave him or her try to tough it out I didn’t see the problem when I was younger (around 9). Then I started realizing my dad wasn’t the family guys he seemed to be I would hear them fighting and I would go to their room so maybe they would stop...it would just move. I woke up one night to a loud bang and my mom crying, she never cry’s, and my dad telling her to shut up. We went to the doctor the next day she had broken ribs. My dad screamed at me because I lost my hat I was 6. He choked my sister a told her if I was you I would kill myself. My mom finally left him, I am so thankful but I love him he is my dad sometimes I wish they were still together but I don’t know why. I have kind of ghosted my dad because my sister hates him but it hurts me I know he has done terrible thing but I forgive him witch I hate about myself I just feel I was a mistake and maybe my mom could of gotten out sooner maybe my sister could have a relationship with her dad maybe they wouldn’t have depression maybe. I am now 13 years old and everyone at school thinks I have the perfect life they say I’m a goody to shoes but school was my safe space they didn’t know I hated going home that I hated my life anyway I’m now going to pretend I’m fine and I’m all sunshine and rainbows beacuse that’s all I can do. Goodbye -L