i don't even know where to start. my mom slaps me and beats me with a belt sometimes so hard, it leaves red marks (and i'm black so red marks don't normally show on my skin) my entire family has normalized abuse and i flinch when people try to touch me. but she lets my younger siblings get away with shit that i would've gotten slapped or beat for. when i try to bring it up she tells me and says "i've never even done that to you stop lying." or "you were too young to even know what happened stop making stuff up." is she lying or am i going crazy? because i genuinely feel like i'm going crazy.
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You're not going crazy at all. Your mom is physically abusing you if, because of her, you're even scared of others even touching you. Harsher or unfair discipline is oftentimes normalized in colored families (I myself am a POC with friends of all races). Don't let her or anyone else make you believe you're going crazy. You're going to get out just fine. Stick up for yourself and keep your head up, contact help if you feel unsafe.