My parents treat me like a child. I'm 16 years old and a Junior in High School and they put limits on my phone and don't allow me to keep devices in my room at night. The WiFi shuts off from 10pm to 10am and I have screen time limits on my phone during that time too. My phone screen time is limited to 5 hours per day and then it shuts down. I can't buy myself stuff online with my own money without permission and they disabled private browsing on my phone. They also track the websites I look at on my computer. They won't let me stay out past around 9 if they have to come and pick me up because, in my mom's words, "If I have to pick you up then I can't relax and have a wine or some beer at night beforehand." It's not like I'm a bad kid, I'm an honors and AP student with good grades. I don't get in trouble and I don't go to parties. I make good choices, I do my best to be nice to everyone I meet, and I had a job before COVID-19 forced my place of work to close down. They always put themselves first and then accuse me of being selfish. For example, they'll throw a fit and call me a disappointment if I'm late for something but if I have to be driven somewhere by a certain time (I don't have my license yet, I live in NJ) and they make me late then "the world doesn't revolve around me and I should stop acting like it." They're hypocritical and hyper-critical of everything I am and do. Even with my body and the clothes I wear. If I wear a tanktop and shorts, I'm slutty. If I don't wear a bra or if I'm wearing one as a top, it's bad because my little brother will "look." If I wear sweatpants, I'm sloopy. When I had more weight, my parents would just agree with every bad thing I said about myself and say things like "Well maybe if you worked out more..." and then when I did I was suddenly "too skinny." I'm comfortable with the way I look now but their constant comments about whether I'm eating too little or too much or not good enough or if I'm working out enough do kind of weigh on me.
Remember how I said they treated me like a child? Well they do but they expect me to take on adult responsibilities like paying for a retainer, researching colleges as an upcoming Junior, fill out my own forms when it comes to everything like doctor's appointments or sports, even if I don't know how to fill it out. My dad has smashed my phone twice out of anger and each time I had to pay for the new one. When I was in sixth grade I paid for my one phone bills, and I've paid for every iPod and iPhone I've had myself since age eight. I'm sick and tired of them treating me like this and every time I try to bring it up to them they gaslight me. They'll tell me I'm insane, that I'm "disconnected from reality." Most of the time they'll just interrupt me and tell me I'm wrong. They tear my argument to shreds and never listen. One time I asked my mom to stop calling me a disappointment and she said "Then stop being a disappointment." They'll paint me as the bad and I often believe them when they say I'm selfish, a bitch, manipulative, disappointing and a terrible human being who cannot function on her own. Like, I know that's not true but in the moment I believe them. And then I beat myself up for it.
Our political beliefs don't align either, which doesn't help. My mom has made many homophobic, biphobic, and transphobic comments although she claims to support the community. One time I got in trouble for telling my brother what trans meant because he was "too young." Both my parents are pro-life and Republicans, and whenever I try to discuss politics with them they laugh at me and tell me to check my facts, even if I have. When the BLM protests first occurred, my dad was more concerned about the looting than the fact that innocent black lives were being taken. When my sister talked to him about a protest, he said that he thought it was just an "excuse for people to get together."
They used to be more physical but I'm too big for that now. Nothing permanently damaging, mostly just slaps across the face or on my head. My dad used to smash stuff a lot, but it's really scary for everyone and my mom made him stop for the most part. He always threatens it though. He also just used to leave the house whenever he was mad. I get if you need time to cool down, but you can go to the shed or your room or at least bring your phone so we know where you are or tell us where you're going or when you're getting back. He sometimes threatens to leave forever. He hasn't done it as much lately because of COVID-19, which has limited the places he can go.
There's more I could definitely go into but I don't want to overwhelm any readers. I guess I'm looking for support, advice, solidarity, and a place to vent here. If you got this far, thank you for reading:)