I have known my best friend for almost 5 years now. I’ve always found him to be one of the coolest/ sweetest guys i could talk to, I had told him awhile back that I had loved him (he didn’t feel the same way because he had fallen for someone else) I kind of just tried to get the thought of liking or ever being with him out of my mind. Fast forward to a few years later and he had moved about 2 hours away. This was really sad but I thought that if there was anything that I could do it was to at least stay in touch with him. A few weeks ago he had told me that I’m one of his only friends besides someone else who goes to his school, it hurt me to think about that because I don’t think people know how good of a person he really is, I’m still glad to e as close as i am to him though. We’ve discussed college plans and careers a lot, but sometimes I like to think that we may potentially have a future together. We talk a lot but we never really send photos of ourselves to each other. We both usually brush it off by saying we’re “camera shy” or “look bad” at the moment, but my reasoning is what if I’m not good enough? What if he doesn’t like the way I look? When it comes to him i tend to put higher unrealistic beauty standards for myself in fear of not getting his approval. Ive tried to be more confident but there hasn’t been a time that I’ve spoken to him that it hasn't crossed my mind that I’m not good enough. If there was a time that he confronted me about it I probably just brushed it off or denied it. His approval is very important to me, i would never tell him, but it is. I’m not sure why it just is... i feel like it will always be.
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