on May 11th 2020 I found out my dad was riddled with cancer. (Brain cancer, lung cancer, bowel cancer etc!!) they told him he would only have a few more weeks but it’s almost August and he’s still pulling through but I know he definitely doesn’t have long left and his body is slowly shutting down and he won’t be in my life anymore. Ever since then I’ve had to move in with my mum and her boyfriend (who was very toxic towards me) he would get mad at anything i did and we would argue a lot all the time and his excuses to my mum would be “I don’t do kids” “that’s just how my brain works” until one night I had dipped my chip in sauce and spilt a little on the table I could tell he was already triggered by something I have done and he got mad and yelled at me and that’s when my mum had enough she told me to pack my bags. The entire night we packed all our stuff. I’m now living at my brothers house so I can still go to school whilst my mum stays with a friend for work. I feel so shit and lonely 24/7 and some days I can’t even get out of bed for school. I don’t know where I see myself after my dad dies I just don’t want to be here anymore.
I'm really sorry this has happened to you. Cancer is a terrible thing and it is heartbreaking that your dad, you, and your family have to go through this. Your mom seems to really care about you, and it's great to hear that she helped get you out of the toxic situation with her boyfriend. School definitely gets tough when things like this happen in life. Maybe talk to a guidance counselor or trusted teacher if you can? I know its hard to open up about these things to someone in person but even explaining the situation with your dad will allow for the school staff to help you through this and make sure school work is not adding to the stress. Your brother, mom, dad, and everyone on this site cares about you. You are not alone. There isn't going to be some magic cure that will make you feel better again, but each day that you get up and do something small (even if it's just bushing your teeth) is helping your mental health. When you are struggling it is hard to see a solution in the midst of all the chaos, but pain does not last forever. You are strong and can get through this!💗