I don’t know why I’m doing this, I just thought it might help, but I lost my three uncles, my grandpa, my horse, my dog, and now because of last Friday, my great uncle. Idk why God decided to take stuff from me, I just wish I could disappear. I’m now going to therapy, and the main problem is that I cry too much in front of my parents. So I have to stop crying in front of them. And my therapist is gonna try to help me let go of all of those deaths. But if I’m being honest, I don’t want to, I want to keep them and I feel like if I let go they won’t be with me anymore. And then my cousin is like my sister and she always talks about how her life is so hard when ever I cry, which is rare in front of her, After my dog died I went to her house to feel better and her and her boyfriend were talking about there dogs right in front of my and it sucked. I started crying and she didn’t even notice. I called my dad to ask him to pick me up but he said he was already in bed. So I stayed there the whole night and listened to them talk. And after my dog died I had to comfort my best friend, she loved my dog half as much as I did, but she was crying and while I was Balling I had to sit there and tell her that she would be okay, and my other best friend constantly treats me like dirt. I wish I could just die but I have to be here for my brother. No matter how hard it gets or how many times my dad punches me or says I’m useless I can’t have him growing up thinking it was his fault and not having me there