At the beginning of 8th grade, if you had told me I would be experiencing new emotions, I would have guessed you meant wonderful emotions. Anything, absolutely anything else, but the emotions I really felt. My worst fear is being physically tortured, kept captive. Yet you made me feel exactly that. How can a person mentally torture you? Well first step is accepting the love you think you deserve. Oh my god, I couldn’t even take a nap because you always freaked out about it. Do you know what it feels like? To have someone hover over you and keep you in the same spot, torturing you almost to death, I wouldn’t even wish that on my worst enemies. It was so draining that my heart ached for 3 days, nonstop, every second of the fucking day it ached. I wrapped a curtain around my neck one night to make it go away, to somehow feel the bliss silence, I couldn’t do it. I’m glad I was so weak during that moment. It’s a year later and I really like who i’m becoming, without you.
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