I was clean for 2-3 months and it all went down the drain because I don’t know who I can talk to, one of my friends says she’s going to kill herself every night then is like ‘lol nvm’ but it keeps me up all night because I don’t know if she’s dead or not and I don’t want to loose her because she’s my childhood best friend then my other friend responds with ‘oof’ when I vent so I feel like I can vent to neither of them and all of my other friends left me once corona started because we all drifted apart and my other best friend I’m pretty sure killed him self and I don’t know what to do I want to die I can’t I’m so sorry