Hi reader!! Here's my problem oop- I can't not have attention, I hate when people talk about their problems because I feel I should be the only one that matters. Whenever my friends talk about something bothering them in a insta post, snap story or group chat, I get angry. Everyone asks if they're okay and makes them feel better and I hate that the attention is taken off of me. If someone new starts speaking to me I will purposefully keep them around to boost my ego, because I look popular talking to lots of people and feel wanted. I feel like a higher power, like I'm better than everyone else because people are begging to talk to me. I like the feeling of being able to fuck with their emotions if I wanted too. I like knowing that I can make them feel so bad with just a few simple words. I like the idea of leading people on for my own sick enjoyment and the worst part is, I genuinely like doing it. I feel terrible and I know I'm very toxic, I am getting help but I just thought I should share, especially so if there are others like this they know they are not alone <3
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I understand you situation however this way of life will not get you far with people.
challenge yourself in small steps to try and have conversations mentioning yourself as little as possible.
You need to learn to be happy for others so they want to be around you and talk about their successes as well as your own.
When you do talk about yourself ask the person your talking to about themselves related to what you were talking about to include them and have a better conversation.
Please don't bully me about this! I know its a terrible thing and I'm really trying to stop, like I said I am getting help, I just needed a place to vent about this feeling