says it in the title :( i’ve thoroughly convinced myself i’m not real. everything around me is a figment of my imagination / a coping mechanism (like an escape - think of a daydream of sorts) for whats happening in my “real life“. i’ve never ever felt like i’ve belonged and i’ve been chronically empty for years. i feel like i’m haunting my own home. i guess this is my way of coping. you might think i sound batshit crazy but this is honestly what i believe at this point. sometimes, i try to convince myself that i’m not in a dream by cutting myself. the pain shows me i’m sort of here, but it doesn’t last very long. now i just have a self harm addiction and long lasting mental strain :(
that being said thank you for reading its nice to get my thoughts out there. i might not exist but nothing is stopping me from wishing everyone peace joy and love.