it’s hard to rant. it’s hard to do really anything. i have no safe space to speak to anyone about my mental health. my therapist thinks it’s hormones but what do my 3 attempts and SH scars mean? do they think i ‘fake’ my mental illness? i never feel heard. i never can talk about it around my grandma(legal guardian) because she doesn’t think i’m actually mentally ill, even though i could’ve gotten it from genetics seeing my grandma has depression, my mom has bpd and my dad has bpd. i feel worthless not knowing that i can’t even speak to my friends about it. they don’t listen. whenever i need to speak they are too busy but i always find a time to help them through their issues. my mental health is deteriorating everyday and it’s hard. it’s hard to find a reason to live anymore, a reason to keep on going. i keep trying my hardest but i just cant find a way to go on. i don’t know how much longer i can either. i just want to be understood for once. do my family just ignore the cuts on me? do they not see how i spend 24 hours in my room a day only leaving for 1/2 meals a day and to go to the bathroom? they don’t even ask how i am anymore. i just don’t think i matter anymore. i don’t know what to do.