i feel like i loos everybody i love. my dad, dead. my brother, moved out. the guy i loved, gone. my friends, speechless. i feel like it’s my fault. i go days without talking to my friends because i’m just so tired. i don’t mean to do it on purpose. i feel like slowly but surely they are forgetting about me. but that’s my own fault. in middle school people would ask me where my dad was. i told them he was dead. he wasn’t. not yet at least. then i see him after years and he leaves us. he dies and he takes my sanity with him. my brother and i never had a good relationship because of him. he fought with my mom a lot. maybe if i would have tried harder to love him he would of stayed. but he’s gone and moved out. the guy i loved, loves? not even sure. i live to far he said. we’re friends. he tells me about who he loves. and i tell him who i love. but love isn’t here anymore. i’d like to think he still has some kind of feeling for me. but i know deep down he doesn’t. i guess this is all my fault, it always has been.