So, ever since the quarantine has happened my mental health has gone through a roller coaster. Since 8th grade (I am about to start my senior year of high school) I have had emetophobia (I have a fear of throwing up or getting sick in public/at school and bothering people) and have gone through periods of health anxiety. I am not unfamiliar with anxiety itself, but I have started fearing myself and my own brain which I am not familiar with/not familiar dealing with. Through some google searches I have found that maybe I have some mental health problems called dementiaphobia and harm ocd. Basically I have a fear of going crazy / being a psychopath and not knowing it and not being able to control my actions (dementiaphobia). With this has come a fear of harming myself or people I love (harm ocd). I do not want to harm anyone, but my brain keeps saying "What if you're a crazy psychopath murderer that's going to lose it one day and stab your family while they sleep?". It's even come with intrusive thoughts. I was in the kitchen with my brother one night and was standing by the drawer with the knives and I started freaking out, having intrusive thoughts of horrible things, and worried that I would lost control of my body and just start hurting him or myself. Does anyone else think or feel these things? I have never met or even heard of anyone with these anxieties so I would love to hear your stories if you have been through this (and how you deal with it / overcame it if you have).
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I also fear of hurting others and myself. What helps me is writing my thoughts in a notebook. I hope you know you aren‘t alone.
HI, not to the the one who makes abt themelves, but i feel the exact same way so I hope you know that ur not alone! :)
hi! so i have something similar with me, and unfortunately i'm yet to find a cure, but there are some things that have helped slow down intrusive thoughts:
reading books right before bed: i know you'll really not want to and you might get bored but it has improved my sleep which then improves my mental health. if you need happy book suggestions let me know!
writing in a diary every time you get those nasty thoughts: i do this and it really does let out my anger and sadness. just every time you get these feelings (im a coward, im so sad, my mood is ruined, this karen at work is being mean) write it down.
try to replace bad thoughts with good ones. every time you get a mean or deprecating thought, say something good too. for example, if you get a thought telling yourself you're going to do something bad, say "i'm good at ___, though" or "i have ___ going for me at least"
stay away from your phone: it sucks, and it's painful, but apps like tiktok, twitter, instagram, and snapchat can be hella addicting and eventually damaging. you can do anything to replace that screen time - read, write, draw, cook, take a walk, etc.
listen to happy music during an episode. if you listen to sad shit while you're already sad it's gonna make things worse. bands like Of Monsters and Men, Aurora, WILD, Dayglow etc. have saved my life. because every time ill be sobbing and ready to turn on the neighbourhood or something, ill listen to these instead.
meditate! there are a ton of free apps that have meditation features. they help clear your head and release natural chemicals like serotonin. they also serve as a nice distraction. try the app Calm, it works wonders!
i'm really sorry you're going through this. i hope it helps!
love,
t