during quarantine, i've realized how much i put into people i care about. but everyone that i care about, has never cared back. i emotionally drain myself for them. no one checks in on me, or maybe tries to do something for me, or even talks to me. but i guess its been like that my whole life. not even my family cares anymore. my mom doesn't spend time with me, my dad is just too tired all the time. and my stepparents are just assholes. the past week i haven't been eating much, sometimes i think i should just be confident in my body! but then i get called fat again, even though i know i'm not that fat. i'm getting tired of myself, i don't wanna look at myself in the mirror anymore or take care of myself. all of this is just the least i could say, i can't put it ALL into words. also, i realize every time i get heartbroken, people tell me how " great and beautiful and nice" i am. which i totally appreciate that more than they could know. even though i don't believe them. then they say how someone will eventually care about me the way i should be treated. but then why don't THEY care? i keep getting told this but i believe it less and less the longer it takes, i'm just tired.
(also if you read all of this, i love you, and i'm here to talk, always)