ik i might sound like a pussy but life is just so hard and i just cry when a try to verbally explain it someone what i really feel inside. i have bottled up emotions since 7th grade and everything my life is mess. to the point where i feel like i mean nothing to parents besides my education. every single day knowing that i have depression they always ask me how was school or how was your day meaning at school but never are you ok? or how are you holding up? and i’m so sick of it because i am so much more than my schoolwork. i am literally taught in my own home that i should never bully anyone not even my sister even though we are siblings but yet my parents feel the need to point every single mistake that i do even when they know that i try and feel the need to tell me my hairstyle looks ugly just because they don’t like, bringing down my self esteem just so they can get their way. like i am a human being and it hurts to be treated like that but in your home is a way worse and life outside of school couldn’t be any worse but the only person that makes me laugh and forget about my sadness seems to depressed and i think i’m the problem since i bring up all my negative problems on him and i’m so sad bc no one else makes me smile like he does and i feel lonely bc jessica doesn’t answer her phone that much and miss her SO MUCH and i’m crying typing this but i’m just so sad and i have so much more bottled up and i don’t know what to do or how to release it and i feel like one day i’m gonna burst and i don’t know how that’s gonna end.
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