these days I’m either numb or sad. There is no in between. I haven’t had a meeting with any of my therapists or doctors since Christmas and I’m thinking of attempting again. I’ve already tried four times and one of those times I ended up In a hospital for three months away from my family. I don’t think I can go through that again but I don’t want to have to go through what I’m feeling every day. I’m 18 days clean but it’s getting hard. i nearly relapsed yesterday. I want to do it today. I can’t talk to my mom because last time she threatened to send me back to the hospital. I can’t go back.
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