I want to cut myself nut I don't want to make my mom sad. We have been going through a lot recently and this kind of explains why I want to do it. I also wanted to harm myself in different ways like taking a lot of pills or jumping off of my window. My mom caught me at the beginning if September in front of my window ready to jump and almost took me to the hospital but why would I want to go there. I overthink a lot thinking that it won't work and that ill just is left with scars to be ashamed of for the rest of my life so that's why I haven't been able to get myself to do it. But I want to so bad. I want to go away harmlessly. It'll be easier for me I think so that I don't have to go through any more pain. So far I've been starving myself but I think my family noticed because I normally eat anything on the table. I'm so sorry I need to get away asap.
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