hi, im maya. & im saying my name because i want people to know that their stories should not be something to be embarrassed of & you dont have to be anonymous. your voice is heard. i hope mine is too. it started back in 7th grade (currently in 9th) when i met a guy. i dmed him on insta asking to be friends & from there we became friends, we talked for about 2 weeks & then he told me he liked me, from there we were now considered “talking” as in the talking stage, but from there everything progressively went down-hill, we would be on and off because he would keep going back to his ex (i found out later on he was with her the whole time we were talking) & my heart would be shattered each and every time he would do that. but to get i to what really matters ill just tell you that we talked for about 5months & thats when he told me he never reallyloved nor liked me which broke my heart and made me feel like i could never be loved by anyone. i started to beleive nobody even my bsf actuallyloved me. in the beginning of 2020 i became severely depressed & started to self-harm. (i will mention that it was cutting but nothing further because of others sake) i was scared of death so i told my grandma and i got transported to a mental hospital in an ambulance. i stayed for 72hours and came back the happies tive ever been. that didnt last long. i became super insecure about everything and my anxiety had came back. i was put on medicine again. mi was clean for 5months when i started feeling worthless and alone out of nowhere and i relapsed. this time it was worse. one night i texted my friends telling them that i couldnt do this anymore & that was the hardest thing ever. they ended up contacting my grandma who was asleep to then i was found in the bathroom and taken to the hospital. i never got admitted this time just sent back on medication. ever aince then i was distracting my mind by hanging with friends and never got to actually let it out.a couple days ago my friend told me she relapsed shortly after and argument wehad & i felt like the cause of it. i feel like everyone would be better off without me & i relapsed again fro the 3rd time this year. but this time its so bad that i cant even wear shorts and i wont get out of bed to shower or use the bathroom because i cant stand the sight of seeing them. i feel like im losing myself slowly but faster faster by yhe minute. i wanted to share my story to let everyone know they arent alone in this and they are loved. pls reach out if ur struggling with anything to me or to a loved one.
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you are so strong remeber its not your fault and all friends have fights. Im younger then you but im always here to talk. your amazing
hi maya! my name is maya, just like yours. and we are both in ninth grade!! what a small world haha. a few months ago i fell into the worst depression i’d ever had. every night it became harder and harder to hold on. i was so scared, but the thoughts would never leave my head and it took everything in me to put down the scissors for the very last time. but something that really helped me was reading books about other people that struggled with anxiety and depression just like me. it helps me feel much less alone, and it’s nice to know that i’m not the only one having these thoughts. although the cuts on my arm have faded and my medicine keeps on increasing, i’ll never forget how alone i felt during that time. so, i want you to know that you are not alone and we’re in this together sister!! feel free to reach out anytime maya!
<3 maya