(tw!) recovery is really hard. as of today, september 1, i am 2 months and 27 days clean, i'm really proud of myself and don't intend of breaking that streak. i'm just tired of seeing my scars. i did it on my thighs/hips and there are so many, some not even fully healed yet. some have been there for nearly 10 months. i hate hiding them. i can't wear shorts, bathing suits, some ripped jeans, skirts, etc. or else people will notice them which is the opposite of what i want. i know people say the scars are there as a reminder of what you've been through, or that they're battle scars, but i honestly just wish i didn't have them. i was at my lowest point when i got them and i don't want to be reminded of that every single day especially when most other people don't have scars or don't understand self harm. i know there's not much i can do about them besides have time heal them, but it's a side of past self harm addictions/recovery that sucks. if you are reading this and struggling with self harm, i'm sending you all the love in the world. <3