He was my friend, we were in the same friend group and they all knew what he did to me. From 2016-2019 he would sexual assault me and he almost raped me. We would be in school and he would grab me on my butt, boobs, thighs and stomach. He would trap me by pushing me against a wall and putting his arms up so I couldn't get out, and because he did that anytime someone does that to me or somewhat close I get flashbacks and memories brought up. I call those moments my ptsd episodes because anytime something happens that slightly reminds me of him I get scared and anxious and the memories get brought up. Every year it got worst and worst, and when I was in eighth grade(years 2018-2019) everyone in my grade knew what he did, no one helped me. They said go to a counselor about it and report him but they didn't understand that if I did that no one would believe me and he would do worst things. One week I had gotten out of a relationship that lasted 16 months and he kept asking me out and I knew I couldn't say no forever so after almost a month of him asking I said yes out of fear. He thought that because we were together he could do whatever he wanted to me and he did. We only dated for two months but those were the worst, whenever we'd go out I had to go to him which meant walking 2 mile in 80+ degrees weather, paying for myself and getting called fat for eating. He'd call me ugly when I didn't dress nice or wear makeup. One day I had walked 2.5 miles to his house were we had been in his room, he tried to take my shirt off but I kept saying no until he forced it off of me. I was too scared to do anything so I just laid there in his arms. He was forcing himself onto me and I couldn't get him off. he would kiss me and touch me, he tried to get his hands down my pants and tried to take them off. then his dad called him downstairs, I had never been so relieved. I quickly put my clothes back on and pretended that my mom needed me home and left. I walked to my towns center and called my mom asking her to pick me up. She didn't know about any of this at the time so I had to pretend I had a good time. Months later I had a breakdown and she was at the store, little did I know that she came home and I was crying historically in the bathroom because my ex best friend said I broke him and that everything he did to me was my fault. So that day I told her everything he did. I had math class with him all of my school year after he broke up with me. He caused me to start not eating much, putting makeup on everyday, having my self esteem become very low and making me hate myself. To this day he still believes he did nothing wrong and that he didn't sexually assault me. This is my story, sorry it's so long it felt good to get it out.
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im so sorry you had to go through that love.I really hope right now you are in a good place mentally and youre surrounded by the people you love helping you.I just want to reassure you that none of this is your fault and that boy that did that to you will soon realise what he did to you as he gets older and will feel guilty for it.