i think i was about 5 when it first started. i cant remember how it happened, but i know that it happened a lot. when my parents and siblings were gone, he would do it. i didnt understand what it was. i didnt say no, and i didnt tell him to stop. i was taught that i always had to respect people older than me. sometimes it would hurt. other times i dont know whag i felt. he kept doing it till i was about 9. in the middle of the night, i would start to hurt "down there". i just wish my innocence wasnt taking away so young.
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i’m so sorry this happened to you from a young age. i wholeheartedly pray that this sort of trauma doesn’t affect you for too long and that you learn to stand your ground and say no. i hope you’re okay <3