i need someone to talk to but i don’t? ive never been a very open person and so im not very comfo with this kind of thing and whenever i do open up, no matter how hard they try the people whom i reach out to just dont help and that’s ok, i prefer to just vent with no strings attached so i’m here: this sounds stupid but my best friend and i have always been each other’s number ones and i knew he had previous loyalties bc that’s just the kind of guy he is but recently he got in a relationship that was a joke at first but he actually began catching feels and now is kinda growing into love and i’ve never been happier for him fr he’s finally gaining happiness but i know ill never be enough alone and it hurts. i asked today who was the first people to come to mind it was his boyfriend, his first love, his old best friend, then me. i get it but at the same time it stings because he’d be the first person i would list and i couldn’t really think of anyone else. i’ve always been ok with being single but his bf is all he talks about and now i can’t help but want someone too. that aside, we think differently and he values the past a lot more than i do and puts a past friend before me and even though i get the reasoning it still resonates because no matter how hard i try i’ll never be second, i don’t expect first ofc. i feel selfish bc hes finally found completeness but it’s just i know he’s leaving me on delivered and all of this because he’s texting his bf. it’s really only a matter of time before i get replaced completely. it only hurts because i’m not the one to settle and get comfortable and feel deeply just because i don’t want to feel this way and whatever. i’ve proved my own point. i got comfortable too soon.
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I get that, its hard when the people you talked to everyday start making new relationships and new friends, and suddenly you're just a thought in the back of their heads, an old conversation and that picture stiffed somewhere else and forgotten. I've been thru that and if you wanna talk message me. :):):)