Alright this is kinda cliche honestly but whatever I guess.
I think I’m in love with my best friend. I wouldn’t worry so much about this if it weren’t for the facts that:
I already have a girlfriend
She’s literally breaking up with her girlfriend tonight if she hasn’t already sent the message
She thinks she may be aro and that’s the entire reason she’s breaking up with her
God I feel like such a shitty person for this but I don’t know what to do. I love my girlfriend, but I also love my best friend. Poly has never been out of the question for me but I don’t know how my girlfriend would react and, y‘know, the fact she may be aro. Even if that wasn’t the case I doubt she even likes me back (despite us talking for months about moving in together + my girlfriend). I was so comfortable talking with her last night and I’ve been wishing all day she’d tell me she wants to call me too.
It’s like an incredibly strong longing that’s been there for a few months now. We’re even sending each other packages and have agreed to send each other sweatshirts and I don’t know how to handle this. I’m not a bold person, so even if I knew she liked me back I’d never be able to tell her and I definitely don’t think she would say anything if she really did because I have a girlfriend.
My mind is in absolute shambles. I don’t know. I want to be close to her, I want to be WITH her, but the chances are so slim that I know I should never get my hopes up. It’s always a mistake to get my hopes up but at the same time I can’t bring myself to crush it. I just don’t know what to do.