I recently got out of a relationship. it was serious to say the least. before i met him, i never was interested in getting into another relationship. but then i met him and we instantly clicked. it felt like i knew him for the longest. he was the perfect guy and it felt like he was the one. but that only lasted for a few months. we lost our virginities to each other, my first love, my first for a lot of things. before i told him i loved him, he told me he wasn't going to ever love me because we waited too long to date and i responded with “thats awkward because i love you.” after i said that he kept going on about he felt stupid for believing that he didnt love me and that i was the perfect girl for him and all of this other stuff. so he ended up saying that he loves me. after the first time and telling each other i love you, he changed. he changed so much. he was a dick. he constantly pointed out my insecurities. he never let me hang out with my friends. he constantly tried to argue with me. im the type of person who never points out the things that bothers me until the bottle over flows and i finally snap. so one night, i finally told him to stop bullshitting me and treat me with respect before it becomes toxic. little did i know, it was already toxic. i was blinded by the love i had for him. two weeks after that, i broke up with him. i knew he wanted to break up with me but he wouldn’t do it because he knew i wasnt strong enough to handle it in that exact moment. (a month before that, my family and i got covid so everything was a lot for me to handle.) but we ended up getting back together the next day. we told each other we would change and we should try again. then he ended up breaking up with me a little over a week after that. he told me he didnt love me anymore. he blocked me on everything. when i say everything, i mean EVERYTHING. i genuinely just want closure. he doesnt let me try and get closure with him. i only want to know if he actually loved me and if he didnt, why did he break up with me? i dont want to get back together with him, i know it would be wrong. he already moved on and started talking to new people. its only been two months since we broke up.