these past few months i’ve felt so empty and i realized i don’t even have any reasons to stay alive left. people always say “stay for your family and friends, they’ll miss you” but my family won’t care, the last time i tried to talk about my feelings i was sent off to a mental hospital and when i got back they said i was just lying about my problems. i’m basically the problem child and the least favorite so i wouldn’t be missed as much and my siblings are much much older so they’ll just move on with their lives. i don’t even have any friends left because they’ve all left or i’ve ruined our friendship because my depression is so bad that i often can't even find the motivation to talk to people even if i really want to. at this point i’ve basically lost everything important to me, i can't find comfort or enjoyment in my favorite things and activities, i feel like i'm alive but not living, it's like i exist but nothing i do leaves a mark in this world or in other people's lives. i can't even find love both in friendships because they always leave or stop talking to me and in relationships because i always get used, all i've ever wanted in life was to feel loved and happy but instead i'm stuck with heartache and severe depression that causes me to feel numb most of the time. i feel like this is all karma and i deserve it, i feel like i deserve everything bad that has happened to me. i just want to end this pain and suffering already, i’ve given up especially since hoping things will get better has never worked anyways.
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i completely understand what you are talking about, and i feel like it too. Nobody likes me anymore, I feel like if just here because they feel bad for me. Everytime i make a joke or say something, its either "you're not funny" or "nobody cares." I apologize i don't have any advice on how to deal with a situation like this but if you ever need anybody to talk to, I'm right here. You deserve all the love of the world and all the support because you are worth it, you deserve the best. I know days feel like they keep and keep on getting worse but i promise you they will get better. you don't deserve this pain. If you ever need anything, i am and i can also say we are all here for you (this forum)