i’ve been struggling with an eating disorder for about 8 months now, and it’s been incredibly hard. i went through a few months where i ate a bit more and when people started telling me i “looked healthier” i just spiraled again. i hate everything about my body and i just feel like i’m not good enough. i want to get help but for one thing, i’m afraid i will have to eat & therefore gain weight, but i’m also afraid i can’t get help because i’m not underweight yet. that’s one of the hardest things about all this. every time i try to reach out to someone, they don’t believe me because “i don’t look like i have an eating disorder”. all i can think about every day is how many calories are going into my body and how many of them i’ve burned off, and people trying to invalidate my illness just makes it worse. this disorder is terrifying but it’s so addicting to watch the numbers drop, i just keep sinking deeper and deeper down into this disease. as messed up as it is, i cant take it anymore but i don’t want it to stop.
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please try talking to someone again as soon as possible. youre most definitely valid. people of all shapes and sizes have eating disorders and sometimes people don't recognize it. that doesn't make anyone less valid. good job for having the courage to try to do it in the beginning! i feel like these types of things are definitely difficult to talk about.