Hello! i wanted to share my story. i grew up loving life and loving food. i remember waking up to the smell of pancakes and Swedish crepes my dad would make my sisters and i in the morning. i would indulge in sweets and foods that i loved. as i turned 16, i noticed how a lot of girls at my school had abs and i wanted some so badly. i slowly started to cut out the majority of foods and as a cross country runner, i especially needed those foods. i never got to where i wanted to be. i was hospitalized and sent to an intensive residential unit for 3 weeks total. i thought “i can eat whatever foods i want now”; although i was able to eat whatever (and you are too) that doesn’t mean i wouldn’t have guilt wrapped all over the food. i missed my cross country season and didn’t want to miss another running season so i trained incredibly hard. not with running, but getting my period back and having a better relationship with food. as i got to where i was, i was content and track started up. just as i was at my peak, the coronavirus hit and track was cancelled. as i am losing motivation, ive developed bulimia. it has ruined my relationships and i have no love for myself anymore. i am trying my best to be happy but it’s very hard with an intensive eating disorder that dictates your life.
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