i can’t remember a time when i liked the way my body looked. growing up, i was normal sized, until about sixth grade i became overweight. i lost a lot of confidence because my best friend at the time asked me about my weight. she was very fit, and when i told her my weight and it ended up being less than hers, she told me “well muscle weighs more than fat”. she probably didn’t mean anything by it, but even the fact that she asked me about my weight at such a young age is what really started to fuel my low body confidence. once i entered seventh grade, everything went downhill. my dad was forcing me to workout everyday because i complained so much about my body. when that wasn’t working, i turned to starvation. i would go days without eating and if i did eat, i would feel so guilty and binge on junk food. i tried to ask for help, but my family wouldn’t take me seriously. eventually i recovered on my own and everything went back to normal for a little while. when we were put on lockdown for coronavirus, i started spending more time looking at myself in the mirror than i had ever before. my relationship with food gradually worsened. i didn’t starve myself, but i would count calories and make sure i wouldn’t go over a thousand. then it happened. i tried to force myself to throw up. if i didn’t catch myself in time i probably would have developed full bulimia by now. that night i cried a LOT. i thought had failed. since then, i have had a few thought s if starving myself, but fortunately, i never went through with them. to anyone struggling right now, it does get wa better i promise. stay with us
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