I think that being mentally healthy and stable is the most significant thing in a person's life. I went through a lot during high school. I was so miserable. I always thought the most pessimistic things; I wanted to take drastic actions to ease my pain. The only thing that stopped me was my family, I always thought of them when I was at my worst to prevent myself from doing anything stupid. There was no way I was going to leave them. But that didn't "fix" my depression. It was only after junior year that I felt more confident. I had my amazing best friends and we would ditch school and go to the mall or to get some food we had dying to try. We did that a lot and unfortunately, my grades did suffer a little but I was feeling confident again. It may have been 1% of the confidence I once had but I was feeling rejuvenated and at peace for the first time in a long time. It was a pleasant feeling.The little tough of confidence I had obtained made me realize that I was capable of talking in school, making friends, dressing the way I wanted, and being my wild self wherever I went. I even managed to get an amazing internship to make up for my slightly upsetting grades with this new power, my confidence.
I felt on top of the world and it didn't matter because at the end of the day I got into the university I wanted for the major that brings me immense joy. I am happier now, my depression has now devolved into anxiety. I do get incredibly sad sometimes because I keep my feelings to myself but now, in college, I've met people who make me feel confident and happy. The friends you make in college are the best people you'll meet. We have so much fun, we go on spontaneous trips, go buy food at midnight, and have so many adventures no matter the place or time.
If you ever go through something similar, know that it will get better. You will find good people, you will realize that living for yourself is the most powerful and thrilling thing you will ever experience. So go out there, find your people, live wildly and adventurously, explore, discover, find new hobbies and interests, fall in love with your work and career, live for yourself and be yourself wherever you go. Learn to love yourself.
An enlightened biddy.