hey im sarah and I’m 15. honestly I just need to vent because I feel like there’s not a soul in the world that I could talk to without annoying them. I have this amazing mother who’s just beautiful in every way but she’s married to an asshole who r*ped me when I was like 5 and he just abused of her and I until I was 11, long story shor, I told but my family thought I was making things up so they spread rumors ab me and the only person that believed me was my moms sister so my mom sent me to live with her (to this day I still don’t know if my mom believes me or not but I want to think she does and that she’s on my side) anyways I had a good relationship with my aunt but over time i realized that In every argument we got into she would always put the blame on me and recently we had this argument over a really small thing and She ending up mocking Me by Saying “iM sArAh and evEryonE haTEs mE sO iLL kiLL mySeLf” and when I confront her about something she said that hurt me she gaslights me into feeling like I did something wrong and for the longest time I felt like I was always the one who effed up and ever since I just want to be by myself rather than arguing with her and this caused me to cut again the first time in a year, I also live with my grandparents but every time I come into the room my grandfather rolls his eyes and my grandmother always takes my aunts side of things, whats really killing me though is that I’m just tired, I’ve been struggling with anorexia for about Half a year and I know that other people have gone through it for longer but every day feels so hard to get through, I also miss my mom, i can’t go back because idk whether or not she’s with that man and I can’t ask bc she’s very sensitive about that topic, I just want to die because I feel so utterly alone and like I can’t tell anyone anything, I feel like I’m not even here anymore or that I’m just an empty body wasting valuable space. I just needed somewhere to rant, thank you.
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