So I'm really worried about a friend with mental health issues. I'll call her A. I met A in band in 7th grade, and we've been in the same friend group since. she's really introverted but is a little more outgoing when around our friends. still, she is pretty quiet and doesn't open up much. she's a really good friend to me and i care about her so much. a couple years ago, we found out that she was having mental health problems through another friend who went through similar things. A only told this other friend about it, I'll call her K, and so i was kind of hurt that we were in the dark for so long. i learned that she had been cutting herself, and i hated that i didn't even notice or realize something was wrong. she told her parents and they said they'd get her help, but she was so closed off abt telling us stuff that I didn't know how things were actually going. I guess we all kinda stopped worrying abt it bc she was getting help. then right before quarantine we realized things were still going badly. i would text A during quarantine, and we even did a netflix party, but she took a while to respond. i was still concerned but i thought that her keeping at least some contact meant she was doing okay. but then she just stopped replying, but i thought it was fine bc sometimes she just forgets. after a couple weeks of not hearing from A, a friend and i stopped by her house to drop off some notes we had written her and some candy, but her mom said she wasn't there so we left the stuff with her mom and left. that night K called me and said that A was doing really bad, and during quarantine it was hard for her to see a therapist and get meds. She said that our letters really helped but her depression was so crippling that she couldn't bring herself to communicate with anyone. A was only able to talk to K for a few minutes over the phone. i was so upset but i didn't know what to do. a few days later A sent me a short text, and my friend K told me not to respond so A wouldn't feel pressured to reply, so I just sent a heart. this was a couple months ago. ever since i've been writing her multiple letters a week, and dropping them off in bundles at her house. her mom always comes to the door, and i never see A. i told her in the letters that she didn't have to respond or even read them, but that I thought she might like to read them. i've probably written at least 30 letters. but i have no way to know if they're helping her, and im scared that im doing the wrong thing or not doing enough for her. does anyone have any advice on how to help her? or thoughts on if the letters actually help? ty
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hey! this sounds like a really tough situation. i understand it must be difficult to want to help someone and not knowing if it's working. i believe that your letters are working. even if A is isolating herself, I'm sure she finds it comforting to know that someone cares for her enough to keep trying to communicate. i hope your situation gets better <3