A year ago I had been struggling with bullying so it wasn't exactly the best year for me, this year (6th grade) my teacher (she was the same one as 5th gr) noticed that I was off driving class and offered me to talk to her. I took a recess to explain that I was feeling numb and just wanted the pain to stop and told her not to tell anyone. Later that day she told the principal that asked me questions like have I been self-harming, at the time I never self harmed except for digging my nail into my skin so I told him that. They contacted my very Christian parents ( exactly what I didn't want) and then they picked me up from school, at home they half felt bad and half wanted to scream at me because what I was doing was "demonic" . They simply ignored what was happened and told me that the school was making a big deal about it and I didn't need any help whatsoever. At that time it was just before March break and I did not know I would not come back to school. My teacher got me a educator/ therapist ish so that I could le find ways to stop me from thinking thoughts... When they said that school would not re open, my teacher told my parents it was for them to chose and of course they decided that I was "fine" so they didn'tcontact her . Things started to get hard and I started to pinch my skin with scissors until I bleeded, my teacher saw me 2 times a week to just talk but my parents wanted it to stop because I was "wasting" her time. It's now almost the beginning of school and I still have thoughts about dying, having panic attacks and self harming with any blade I can find. I don't know how to tell them that I really need help and go to a doctor so that I can get diagnosed if I have anything wrong w me but they would just scream at me and tell me I'm being possessed by the devil, how to I tell them I don't wanna live? I was almost 1 month self harm free until yesterday I had another panic attack. I really need help and I tired telling my friend but she didn't understand, she just told me to stop and that it wasn't"that hard" This is my story and I don't know if it's ever going to get better.
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In no way are you demonic. Lots and lots of people go through things like this , your parents are handeling this in the complete wrong way. do you have any aunties uncles or friends mums that you can talk to ? they might be able to help. 💗