Just once, can I be able to stop the urge of doing it. Just once, can I be able to feel something without doing it. I don’t know how it feels to overcome the powerful urge to sh. Yet here I am...literally sat on my floor, bawling my eyes out, trying to resist the temptation. Maybe if I, go read a book, watch a movie I like, take a shower, it will help? Wrong. I’ve tried time and time again, it just doesn’t. The sting as I enter my shower, the sting as my clothes rub against the cuts. I don’t understand why I always feel the need to do that. It’s angers me that I have no self control. All it takes is one simple thought “I’m not worth anyone’s time” to make my night/day, a living hell. I just need some sort of distraction if you will, to stop it. As I keep saying to everyone around me, i just keep playing with my dog and she accidentally scratches me...but doesn’t everyone say that? I have no clue what to do when this urge takes over, I just want too feel again.. Just once...
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