I'm honestly sick to my stomach right now. I want to switch schools so that I can meet new people, but I'm the most anxious and self conscious person I know. If I go I will have hundreds of breakdowns, I know it. But I have it here because I feel stuck. I don't want my old friends anymore. The only person that I did want is now trying to shame me for ghosting my old friends and wanting to switch schools. I hate myself, my personality, my body, my school, my life, and literally everything but I feel like I'm not in control of any of it. I wish I could lose weight and start respecting myself. I wish I could surround myself with people who I'm comfortable with. But I feel like I don't get a choice. I try to go on a diet but I can't bc I'm a picky eater and I gag when I eat any vegetable. I try to work out but I can bc it makes me feel dead and grey. I try to change my hair but I can't bc I'm afraid that it's falling out and I haven't told anyone. I feel so big and gross and sweaty and I hate it. I wish I was small and dainty and pretty. I have good features but my face is so round. And my eyes are so sunken and my hair is so thin. I've gained weight and my stomach has gotten bigger. My boobs have gotten saggier and my butt and hipdips make me feel like I'm dirty and gross. I'm almost 15 and I just want to feel like a real normal girl. I hate everything so much and it all sucks.
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heyy. you‘ve probably heard of this so many times but i’m sorry that you are going through this. i wish things can get better for you. and it will ! i literally feel the same way (i’m 15) but i dont want to make it about me. there are always gonna be friends that leave you and it’s probs for the best but if you feel like you can’t let go try having a convo with them and see what the real problem is... also vegetables can be disgusting but there are other alternatives like healthier types of cookies, bars and just meals in general. and you don’t need to do workouts everyday going on a simple walk and listening to your favourite music is the best way. you’ve probably heard this before ‘life is hard but you just have to deal with it’. it is kinda true we just need to make the best of it. you only live once right? there’s never gonna be other one of you forever ! forever is a reallyyyyyy long time. so you have to make up for your spot. even if you have to fake loving yourself you will end up loving yourself for who you are. (fake it till you make it <3) there will be times where you think no one cares about you and you’re all alone but you’re not. people do care about you and you are special!! (i really hope this helped) <3