I’ve always been a happy outgoing girl. Class favorites and a class clown I’d say. But in 5th grade I started to notice I’m not really pretty. My self esteem got low looking at the others girl who were short and had slim waists and belly’s while I had a big rib cage and a belly with a little bit more then others. I started to feel pain not mentally but physically and we got it checked out and i was later diagnosed with arthritis and a young age and it made me sad. Later going on to 6th grade I couldn’t walk for two months so I didn’t move or have action in me so I started to gain some weight. Finally we went to the doctors they had me over night and did surgery so I could walk again they gave me medicine to take to make sure it didn’t happen again. Little did I know the medicine I was taking made me gain tons of weight around 20 pounds so I would say i became pretty chubby and also sense I couldn’t walk for 2 months I got a limp and people started to notice and I felt terrible about myself like could it get any worse, that’s where I realized I’m not gonna ever be pretty I start to go on a fast and do all unhealthy stuff when I was such a little kid finally I got into 7th grade I was fine I still had a limp which was fine I was used to it but I was very grossed out by it I was around 143 pounds and I was 5’4 I start to like myself until I was bullied about my whole body and I fell into a deep depression cuz I wasn’t like her the popular girl that made the volleyball team the coaches didn’t pick me because they thought I was limping because I was injured but in reality it’s just the way I walk so that made me really upset anyways I switched schools again and became a little more happy with myself.. blah blah blah life goes on and then COVID happens in this stage I loved myself and I was happy with my life because I was popular and nobody made fun of me during COVID I lost a lot of friends and then all these girls in bikinis started to show up on my fyp I was like wait why don’t I look like that then I started to look at myself in the mirror more and realized I was fat and I needed to change I started to do workouts and I saw I was losing weight but slow as heck! So I became abscessed with my weight and started to not eat as much. More tik toks of thin girl popped up and I wanted to be like them so bad so I started crying myself to sleep wishing I could look like them and be pretty. Till this day I’ve never looked at myself happy with what I saw again I’m now 5’5 and 125 pound just the other day I was 123 and now I’m mad at myself for gaining two pounds I don’t eat right and my family said I needed help and I know I do but it’s hard when TikTok is such a toxic place for me I hate the way I am and I’m so insecure I hope one day I will finally realize that I’m perfect the way I am:(
top of page
bottom of page
tiktok can be really harmful for self esteem :( but there are a few accounts on there that have actually helped me a lot! check out like brittanilancaster and claraandherself <3 you are good enough and you are beautiful the way you are!!!