when quarantine started i download apps that allow you to swipe on people you found attractive and add them on snapchat. i made a lot of mistakes when i downloaded those apps but the people who i met on there made me feel confident about myself and gave me assurance that i was attractive or hot. sometimes i met a boy on the apps who we talked to for a while and i caught feelings for him. he stopped talking to me for no reason and of course i was heart broken. ever since every time a boy gives me even the slightest bit of attention i think that they may like me or i like them. i recently got a lot of attention from some boys from my school and i one of them was giving off weird vibes that he may liked me. i started having feelings for him and then he texted me telling me that he wanted to make sure i knew that he didn’t see me in any other way except a friendly way. it made me a little sad and all i’ve wanted is a boyfriend. now i’m afraid that a boy will never love me and i wont get a boyfriend who accepts me for who i am even though i’m not pretty or attractive. i wouldn’t wanna self diagnose myself with depression but i’ve been feeling very depressed and have no motivation to get ready or get dressed and have been having suicidal thoughts. i wish i just had someone to talk to but i’m not able to tell my mom because she will tell me i’m fine.
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